How completely unenthusiastically someone yells “Captain overboard.” when you jump off your ship...
I shall not rhyme. Not yet not this time. Penis.
It’s pretty fucking common, unfortunately.
It’s called femme invisibility in most queer circles. There’s a great article about a butch that decided to one day wear leggings here that pretty much sums up what it’s like to be queer and present yourself as even very slightly feminine. Not only do you get flak (or rejected) from your fellow queers, but you also have to put up with shit from non-queers that try to “convert” you back to straight or also assume your sexuality. Because the way you present yourself says a lot about who you’re attracted to, right?
There are all sorts of ways to be queer, not just one kit of clothes and hair and skin for everyone. Unfortunately, both queer and non-queer people alike forget that and instead try to pick apart the basic appearance of people to conclude if they “fit” or not. We are not Barbie Dolls molded to queer perfection, we are people with diverse needs, appearances, and sexualities.
There’s really only one thing to do about it: Keep doing what makes you happy. Because the people (queer or not) that tell you that you can’t be queer because of how you look are wrong, and more than that, they’re being stereotyping, narrow-minded and further stigmatizing an already stigmatized group.
It’s eerily similar to the same stereotyping bullshit that people spout off to categorize any minorities by saying "Black girls can’t do x…" and "Jewish boys don’t like x…." Stop right there, because I’m pretty sure you don’t know every single person of that race, sexuality, gender or creed on the planet, so you don’t get to make broad, sweeping statements about their persons.
I look pretty fucking “feminine,” whatever that means these days. I like looking feminine, I enjoy putting on makeup and lacy bras and garters. I also like getting off to girls. I really like getting off to girls in my makeup and lacy bras and garters. If that makes me somehow “less of” a queer, then my brain and body definitely weren’t aware of it. So anyone who tells me otherwise, I tend to just ignore. They’re on the wrong side of history, anyway, and just can’t handle all dis.
Enough for now.
alexquintas said:How many sessions did it take for the wormwood, and, do you wait for it to heal up before doing another session? It looks all kinds of awesome and I love how delicate it is.
Two sessions to get it the point that the photo was taken. If I wanted it to be raised/indented more, then I could definitely go over it again!
I usually wait 6 months after the initial surgical cutting phase, just so it has time to develop and properly heal. I agitate my scarifications in their healing process with a clay pumice stone (much easier to sanitize than a real pumice stone) for 2-3 months every time I shower, and a little smear of petroleum over the scar for the first week makes the healing slower to allow proper scarring. We also used old-fashioned iodine during the procedure, which actually develops scars (thanks, doctors of yesteryear), as well as sanitizes the area. Hydrogen peroxide is an excellent cleanser while it forms, because it also discourages proper healing and contributes to scarring (it’s slightly toxic to bacteria, but that also means it inhibits new cell growth — which is why it is only encouraged for cleansing minor wounds instead of larger areas).
You can always do more agitation for longer to develop bigger, more raised scars, but for how delicate the linework was, that process seemed just about perfect!
Actually, not at all! (And thank you!)
While some people prefer keloid scars for their 3-dimensional look, a lot of scarifications heal to resemble whitework tattoos — no largely raised, puffy skin, just a slightly different texture (sometimes indented, like some of mine) and color to the skin. Of course, those types of scars are a little more apt to heal away over time, but going over them once or twice creates permanence (I had to go over mine twice).
Also, how you let the scar heal will make a big difference between subtle scarring and larger keloid scarring; the longer you agitate the fresh scarification, the more your skin will develop raised scars. The more flesh you take away (flesh removal), the bigger the scars. I have some slight keloids on my back from a section where we did skin removal (weird TMI: loose lines of skin feel like overcooked spaghetti), but the rest mainly looks like a scar you would get from a minor injury or a lightning strike.
And all of this is dependent upon the person, too. Like you said, a lot of people who get scarifications are already prone to keloids, so it stands out more immediately. Personally, I’ve had my ankle sliced open (by accident) rather severely and never developed a keloid, despite the 3-6 months it took to heal it.
It’s more of a personal (and sometimes genetic) choice if you want something very delicate (like mine, or like this or this or this) or a larger keloid, not a rule for scarification. Everyone scars, it’s just how they do that varies.