Who Wasn't There

🐙Writer, Collector of Antiquities, and Bibliophile.
🐙Co-Creator of FindChaos & ChaosLife comics.

🐙All-Around Weirdo.
Recent Tweets @
❤Posts I Like❤

Dear Deli,                  

What the fuck is wrong with your cranberry bagels?          

Your ‘Everything’ bagels are mouth-watering, your blueberry bagels are the perfect blend of tart and sweet, and even when you only have salt bagels left, they’re still passable. My complaint is only with your cranberry bagels.      

Seriously. On the outside, they look like all the rest of your bagels, except for a slight pink tinge that leads one to believe that they contain cranberries. This is a lie.      

Cranberries are not Robin of Locksley - You should not throw them blindly at the bagel dough and where-ever so they land, there shall they be buried. This results in three shitty little cranberries shoved into one corner of a giant bagel, with one more cranberry sacrificing itself to your dough-mixing-hook in bloody glory, mixing its red juice all up in the dough and giving one the impression that this bagel contains more than three scared cranberries that have just watched their friend commit suicide.                                  

I expected more of you.                       

Sincerely,                              

Someone Who Is Never Buying a Cranberry Bagel Again

  1. taylorjeannne reblogged this from whowasntthere
  2. europeyn reblogged this from whowasntthere and added:
    I think I just about hyperventilated reading this.
  3. whowasntthere posted this